Daily Pastries: September 13

Some thoughts...

No one will give all the answers, you have to pave the road yourself.

College has further made me realize that no one will give me the life I want to live. Not that I assumed that life was going to be served to me on a silver platter, quite the opposite, actually. I come from a long lineage of independent Black women and was raised as such. I have always worked hard for the things that I wanted, but I also think I have found a way to coast on that fact.

As I said, I have always worked hard, but I think there is a part of me expecting certain opportunities to come to me. For example, today, I went to the career center at my school to get advice on getting writing experience. As I enter the nearly empty room with two people who don’t look like they want to be there, I realize that my hopes of getting all the answers (or at least one of them) were dashed. I assumed that I made enough effort by having knowledge of the career center and knowing what questions I wanted to ask. With this information, I coasted on the belief that I already did the hard work, and the answers would come to me because of it.

Slowly, however, I am realizing that there is “easy” hard work and “hard” hard work. Both are hard work, but only one is comfortable. This is where I think I have been coasting for the last couple of years. The easy hard work is being a decent student. It is going to class on time, doing homework, and getting along with professors. And after doing so for so long, it becomes second nature, i.e., coasting.

But “hard” hard work is about getting uncomfortable. It’s about carving out time to write hundreds of more words despite having to write thousands every day for assignments. It’s about reading more, even when you have to read dozens of textbooks. It’s about sticking your head out of the ground, out of the daily grind of a student, and making something for yourself.

And this isn’t a hustle culture ad. I’m not encouraging people or myself to work themselves into the ground. I am saying that, at least for me, I can only get the life I want if I carve out time for my passions. Academia is temporary, but it’s my passions that will fulfill me. I can’t ride the wave of being a good student forever. I have to pave my own path.

So, whoever may be reading this, I hope that whatever your “hard” hard work looks like, you are able to find time for it. Your happiness and passion will thank you.